Words by

Bart Cameron

July 14th, 1972, Hotel Loftleiðir.
1 am.
Sæmundur: Oh, Bobby, look at the mess you made.
Bobby: Yes. I’m a genius.
Sæmundur: But was it necessary to do that to my favourite ascot?
Bobby: Don’t dare to guess my ways.
Sæmundur: Of course not. You’re a great man.
Bobby: I was thinking about that. I wonder if there is an irony that I will be remembered for being the great American chess player, despite the fact that I basically revile American principles. Were I simply another great Russian player, few people would bat an eyelash.
Sæmundur: Yes, bats. That’s funny.
Bobby: Are you changing your clothes again?
Sæmundur: I like to wear new clothes.
Bobby: Well stop it. You look like an overweight Tony Randall in the Odd Couple.
Sæmundur: I like the Odd Couple. You’re funny and smart.
Bobby: Yes, I am extremely amusing. Want to hear my joke about women chess players.
Sæmundur: Ha ha.
Bobby: I haven’t told it yet. Damn it, stop combing your hair. Here’s the joke: women are stupid compared to men. Ha. Get it. I told that to Ralph Ginzburg at Harpers, and he didn’t get it at all.
Sæmundur: I like Ralph Ginzburg. Is it true that you want a house shaped like a rook?
Bobby: Actually, I’d like a house shaped like a bishop. And I want the roof to be pink. It’s part of my love of chess. I’ve always been misquoted.
Sæmundur: Yes, I would like to see your bishop house. Would you like to tell me more about the time you gave your money to a fourth-rate cult?
Bobby: No. I am very stressed Sæmi. I’d like to sit here and stew in my own hate for a few minutes.
Sæmundur: I understand.
(Thirty minutes later.)
Sæmundur: Bobby?
Bobby: Yes Sæmi.
Sæmundur: When I am stressed, I find something I like to do, to take my mind off of things.
Bobby: You are an imbecile. Why would I care?
Sæmundur: Sorry, Bobby.
(Thirty minutes later.)
Bobby: What is it? What do you do?
Sæmundur: This is a little embarrassing. But actually, what I do is I dance. I’m a dancer.
Bobby: I don’t dance. I can’t be bothered.
Sæmundur: Sorry, that was stupid of me.
(Thirty minutes later)
Bobby: I’m very stressed. Maybe you can show me something. How relaxing is it?
Sæmundur: Very relaxing. I mean, there are different types of music. I like rock music, but you have to dance slow, too. Here.
(Puts on “Unchained Melody”)
Sæmundur: Okay, well I’m bigger than you, so I’ll lead. You just put your hand right here.
Bobby: Here. Oh how foolish of me. I feel so silly.
Sæmundur: Relax, Bobby. Just let the music take your hips. Excellent. There you are.
Bobby: This is great fun. This is great fun. I am so sorry that only a few minutes ago I was contemplating ways to hate you and everyone related to you.
Sæmundur: You see. Just relax and listen to the music.
Bobby: Thank you Sæmundur. You know, I really feel much better. I’m going to win tomorrow. I’m going to knock Spassky’s socks off. And then I’m going to go out and insult a lot of people, and make all sorts of horrible decisions.
Sæmundur: That sounds great, Bobby. That sounds great. We’ll be friends for life.
Bobby: Yes, Sæmi. Friends for life.
If you too have an interpretation of how Bobby and Sæmi became friends for life, email us at grapevine@grapevine.is. We’ll post our favourites on our website.